Sunday, January 07, 2007

Submission gone wrong

Okay, I'm tired, I'll admit that right off the start.

I"m feeling bothered in my spirit. I'll admit that right off the start too.

And just so you know, I'm trying to be careful about how I write things because I don't know who all reads my blog and the ages thereof.

Last night I ran into something that I didn't know existed. You know you read a blog, and you follow links from one to another and so forth. Well, somehow I ran into a blog where they talked about "domestic discipline".

This lady described herself as a good Christian, submissive wife. They attend church, he's a leader within their local fellowship, with thankfully (my opinion) no childen. And then she went on to describe what that meant.

I was shocked and horrified and so very deeply saddened.
This woman consents to having her husband physically and otherwise discipline her for infractions. Apparently they decide together how things will be run in the household (basically what he says goes) and if she breaks any of the rules, then she is disciplined by him. AND this is called biblical Christian living. It's a husband treating his wife worse than a person would treat an errant child in need of a quick correction.

I know that submission is a hard word for women to hear now-a-days. It brings up visions of women not being able to do anything without their hubbies okay and all that. And that is not what submission should be all about.

I know that about 8 months after Jim and I got married that my mom shocked/angered/upset me when she said that I had become more submissive since I got married. Not what I wanted to hear at all! Set off a whole wave of thinking and praying and considering and conversation (not all of which my hubbie enjoyed!) thanks for your patience love!

But in all my thinking, praying, reading etc.... I have learned that submission is not a bad thing. That my hubbie has to submit to the Lord, and as he does so, he shows God's glory. The better he lives as a Christian, the more he shows respect to me and leadership within our family, the more the glory of God is seen. I know that the more I am able to put myself aside for my hubbie, the more I show who he is, and the more that God's glory is seen.

And that to me is more important than the rest.

When I read about things like domestic discipline it disquiets me within. It bothers me deeply that something that is meant to bring glory to God can be so perverted (as in changed into what it shouldn't be). It just doesn't set well.

God set roles into place for a show who HE is. And this way of living, doesn't show who God is at all.

So on my walk with the dogs this morning I do we reach people who live like this? Who deeply believe that this is the right way to do things? Is it like my hubbie (when I asked him about it last night) something with an 'erotic' side that somehow meets a need that's been twisted? Or is it truly just something that people think is important and the right way to do things? I can't understand it, nor do I really deeply want to (I just don't want to take my mind down those kinds of paths), so how to I show the truth of the gospel to them in a way that will be understood? I just don't know...


Kim said...

It's approaches to submission such as this that have made women not want to be submissive.

Chastisement is for parents and the Lord; not for husbands.

Annette said...

I agree, with you Kim.

I am just left wondering, how does one reach out to people who truly believe that this is the right way to do things? It is so beyond my scope of understanding because I just see it as so twisted that I think it (my thinking) would SO get in the way of witnessing to them. But it is so wrong that I just want people to see that God's way is so much better.

Holly said...

Ahhh. I see what you were talking about now. How did I miss this? It must have been when my Dad was sick.

Yeah. What you mention here is...very twisted indeed. And yet, I have seen it before. That's not how it is supposed to be.

Did you read my post on my husband recently? To me - that is what submission is about. He is my head, my leader...but he honors me and serves me in many ways. (As I do, him.) He makes submission easy. (And oddly enough...he doesn't ask or expect submission. But I gladly give it.)

You ask - how do we reach people like this? Directly? I don't know. Indirectly? By being a real life, excellent example of how things should work. By creating a hunger within them for a healthy marriage relationship.

Annette said...

Yes Holly, I had read the post about your hubbie, and he sounds like a real sweetheart. And I am fortunate in that my hubbie is a good man too, he has his "stuff" but most of that is because he's male (go figure) :) and the rest is because, like me, he has "stuff" that he needs to get right with God too. So submission in our household usually isn't a "four-letter word". Freely offered and not demanded.

But I think demanded submission (from a hubbie) is different than expected submission as from Christ.

I really should do another post on this sometime! :)

All I can do is live my life and offer the hope that I have to those that are around me, and those that read my blog. Hopefully my seeing some things as twisted won't get in the way of people seeing the love of God that I hope comes through my writings. And will offer them hope of a better way (God's way) to live.