True Woman - a lasting kindness

it's the last email from the true woman conference I attended last October in Chicago.

here's the email teaser.

A Lasting Kindness

When a friend from church is in the hospital or has a new baby, what do you do? Many women spring into action, buying gifts, making meals, and showing great kindness in practical ways. But when someone closer to home has a need, do you spring into action with the same enthusiasm? Learn to take kindness home.*

• How will you be remembered? What I want people to remember about me is that I cared, that I was kind, that I loved, that I touched their lives in practical ways that made a difference.
• Sometimes our own families are the ones we show the least kindness to. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been hurt, sometimes it’s because we’re lazy, sometimes we just take them for granted. We need to think about kindness in our own homes.
• It’s not your responsibility to fix all the problems of the needy in the world. But God has called you to be sensitive to the needs of those that He’s put into your sphere of influence and to open your eyes and be available to minister to their practical needs.

Listen to or read more from “A Lasting Kindness”

oh my...read that opener and thought...actually no I don't. I often don't even think about it. I figure someone will care for them. Sounds bad I know...but I just don't think that quickly about it. NOW...if I KNOW there's a need and someone points it out to me...yes, I'll act. But normally I need these things pointed out to me.

From Titus 2 we read:

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

To be kind, that's the focus of this lesson.

Nancy says the following, which made sense to me:

Now if you go to the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians chapter 5, verse 22—you know there’s love, joy, peace, longsuffering—two of the Fruit of the Spirit relate to this concept. One is goodness and the other is kindness. These are related concepts. The word that is translated kindness in the Fruit of the Spirit is a word that has to do with having a kind heart attitude or disposition toward others. It’s a kind heart.

The word that is translated goodness in the Fruit of the Spirit and the word that is used here in Titus 2 is a word that means not just a kind heart, but kind activity on behalf of others. This word is active goodness. You have a good or kind heart but you don’t just keep it in your heart. You do something about it. It comes out.

Jerry Bridges talks about these twin, or cousin, qualities of kindness and goodness. He says, “Kindness is the inner disposition created by the Holy Spirit that causes us to be sensitive to the needs of others, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Goodness is kindness in action, words, and deeds.”

Goodness is a kind heart in action. (I do like that way of looking at it). :)

Goodness is the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit within us, acted out in the lives of others.

I want to be 'show more goodness'. :)

I don't always think of myself as being kind.

When I'm tired (which seems like all the time lately) I'm more prone to just zone into myself unless someone forces me out of it (preschoolers are good at that). "Mommy...come play with me". Or "HUN! I need your help! NOW!" (both work well). :)

Kindness to me is...making meals my hubby likes, it's playing with my boy when I want to do my own thing, it's treating a sick bunny's eye so that it heals more quickly, it's smiling at a stranger, it's trying hard to organize a house in a functional for the family manner (not just functional for me), it honouring my hubby when he makes me proud...and even when he doesn't, it's extending grace to a preschooler who hasn't slept enough and is cranky and whiney and finding ways to make it better for us both to cope when we're alone AND THEN...not complaining about it when hubby gets home from another meeting.

I know that there is more to kindness and goodness. I know that MY HEART needs much more refining by the Holy Spirit. I know that my heart is not so very naturally kind...but that God is changing me and making me more aware of my very real need for him. I find the more that I am aware of HIM the more I am able to better serve my family and others in a kindly manner.

Nancy goes on in her message to talk about Dorcas, in Acts 9 we read:

³⁶Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity. ³⁷In those days she became ill and died, and when they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. ³⁸Since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, hearing that Peter was there, sent two men to him, urging him, "Please come to us without delay." ³⁹So Peter rose and went with them. And when he arrived, they took him to the upper room. All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them. ⁴⁰But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. ⁴¹And he gave her his hand and raised her up. Then calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive. ⁴²And it became known throughout all Joppa, and many believed in the Lord. ⁴³And he stayed in Joppa for many days with one Simon, a tanner.

Putting aside the amazement of someone who was dead being raised to life again....I still find that idea stunning (outside the fact that Jesus rose from the dead...he was GOD!)...but this woman was missed because of how very kind she was. look at what is says here:Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity. This disciple of God was full of good works and charity. It doesn't say that she was kind...it says that she was full of good works and charity. One can do these things without being kind...but consider how badly she was missed

All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them

....that speaks to these things being done with kindness. This is how we want to be remembered isn't it? With people missing us because of how well we treated them. And it all starts with us being disciples of Christ. Loving him and through the loving of him being changed into people of kindness, making our acts of services deeds of good works.

Be changed in your heart by the indwelling of God the Holy Spirit.

Develop a kind heart.

Let that kindness flow out into your life as good works. Go out there...Serve your God by serving others. :)

True Woman - the Beauty of Holiness pt 2

Continuing my devotion from yesterday as the whole household is still quiet. :)

I felt like my devotion was very incomplete yesterday.

I really liked how Nancy put it (when talking about women, christians and holiness).

He washed us with the renewing of regeneration of the Holy Spirit, whom He richly poured out on us through Jesus Christ, (paraphrase, verses 5 - 6). He saved us! Saved us from what? From sin, from impurity, from debauchery, from decadence, from our flesh, from being slaves to various passions and pleasures.

Those who belong to Christ have been saved. They've been rescued from that impure life. They've been set free from sin. They are different than those who don't follow Christ, and the difference should be obvious to everyone.

This is the thing that has so struck me about the book of Titus as I've been meditating on the whole three chapters—the context of the passage we're studying in Titus two—is the stark contrast between those who follow Christ and those who don't. That's the way it's supposed to be. There's supposed to be a stark contrast.

It shouldn't be difficult for people to know whether someone is really a Christian. The unbelieving world is characterized by impurity, and believers of Christ are supposed to be pure.

Chapter 2, verse 14 of Titus says that Christ, “Gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness.” How much? All lawlessness, “and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.”

We are saved from having to...being enslaved to..being forced to .... live a life of impurity. Consider that for a moment. Consider that Easter has just passed. Christ died to save me from sin. From being forced to live in a way that doesn't please God one bit.

My life should be remarkably different from the world around me simply because God is the reason for my existence. I know it, he knows it, and my life should reflect that reality.

We are to be pure, a holy people, set apart, different from the world. Our job is simple....make the God that we serve look good. Anything else is self-serving and idolatrous. If we believe in God we make him look good. We are to glorify him in EVERYTHING that we do, whether we are at home or away. Whether we are in church or at home or at work or wherever.

How are you doing at your 'job' as a Christian?

How can you answer these questions that Nancy puts to us?

• Do you have eyes that are wide open to everyone else's sin but too proud to see the defects in your own life?
• Are you able to be entertained by that which is unholy, to laugh at it, to enjoy it?
• What kind of tolerance level do you have for things that are impure? Do you tolerate a little bit of it?
• What kind of people do you gravitate toward? We see David in the Psalms saying, “I'm drawn to people who have pure hearts. That's who I want to be around.”
• Are you drawn to people whose hearts are pure, or are you drawn to those whose conversation and their lifestyle are coarse or off-color or perverse?
• Again, equally important, what kind of people gravitate towards you? Do coarse and perverse people feel comfortable telling their stories around you, and if so, you might want to ask, why?

Are you ready to be that pure, holy bride of Christ? Have you made yourself ready for him?

The question to me is....how will I change to become more of the person that God has called me to be? Am I really willing to have myself changed all the more for him?

Ah Lord God...make me that person I want to be:

⁹But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

(from 1 Peter 2) Let me be that called out person who proclaims your glories!

Amen.

True Woman - the Beauty of Holiness

The Beauty of Holiness

Sometimes pressures come at you so fast it seems like you can’t think straight. Learn to develop a biblical, sound mind so that you can think clearly no matter what is happening around you.*

• You never get to the point where you don't need the grace of God to protect and safeguard your heart and keep you from sin.
• The real test of your purity is who you are when you get home and how you treat those around you.
• The goal of being pure of heart is not to make us look good. That's self-righteousness. The goal is to make God look good.

Listen to or read more from “The Beauty of Holiness”

Now I have to admit, the title of this day's devotional really appeals to me. :) The beauty of holiness. How many see holiness as a thing of beauty? Not too many I think....but mmmmm... to be seen as beautiful because of my holiness...isn't that something to aspire to?

wow....okay...it's hard to concentrate when Thomas the Train movie is playing in the background. But we'll keep trying.

In her devotion Nancy refers to some different scriptures:

Titus 2:3-5, 11-14

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

¹¹For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹²training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³ waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Titus 1:15-16

¹⁵ To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. ¹⁶ They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.

We are called to be pure, pious, submissive and keepers of our homes.

We are called to be more than what we were before we knew Christ.

To not to be slaves to sin, but to be a people earnestly desiring MORE than what the world offers to us. To love and serve in ways that please God not ourselves.

How does one live this out? For answers, Nancy turns to Psalm 101 which shows practical ways to living out what we believe.

A Psalm of David.

¹I will sing of steadfast love and justice;

to you, O LORD, I will make music.

actions: singing to God.

²I will ponder the way that is blameless.
Oh when will you come to me?
I will walk with integrity of heart
within my house;

Ponder: to meditate, to think about something more than yourself. To see what is blameless.
Choosing to walk with integrity.

³I will not set before my eyes
anything that is worthless.
I hate the work of those who fall away;
it shall not cling to me.

Watch what you watch. Do you engage the worthless? what type of books do you read, shows do you watch, people do you associate, activities that you are part of? do you watch these things carefully? Not saying you can't be involved with people who engage in worthless activities...if you don't, how might to draw them to Christ...but you don't need to engage in the worthless activities that they do.

⁴ A perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will know nothing of evil.

⁵Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly
I will destroy.
Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart
I will not endure.

Do you correct ungodly behaviour? do you call it for what it is? Do you do your best to stay away from evil actions?

⁶I will look with favor on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he who walks in the way that is blameless
shall minister to me.

Do you encourage your brothers and sisters in their walk with Christ?

⁷No one who practices deceit
shall dwell in my house;
no one who utters lies
shall continue before my eyes.

⁸ Morning by morning I will destroy
all the wicked in the land,
cutting off all the evildoers
from the city of the LORD.

Do you do your best to cut off the wicked from within your midst?

I look at this and I see church discipline at work too.

I look at this and I see moms guarding their households, protecting their children from those who would lead them astray.

I see constant vigilance.

Anyways, there is oodles more here but Now I have a preschooler demanding my attention and I just can't concentrate here anymore. talk and think more later.

True Woman - Sound Thinking

Sound Thinking

Sometimes pressures come at you so fast it seems like you can’t think straight. Learn to develop a biblical, sound mind so that you can think clearly no matter what is happening around you.*

• If you have sound doctrine, that will result in sound thinking about all of life—thinking that is wise, discreet, sensible, and self-controlled. Sound thinking will result in sound living.
• You can’t love your husband and your children if you don’t have sound thinking. Because when they are not loveable, if you don’t have sound thinking, you’re going to respond in unloving ways.
• A godly woman's heart and mind are always under the guard and protection of the Spirit of God, the truth of God, and the truth of God’s Word.

Listen to or read more from “Sound Thinking”

so goes the teaser sent to my inbox. :)

And from Titus 2:1-5 we read:

1But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Nancy had a lot of good to say today. Really appreciated her devotional. So you'll need to go read it.

here is part of what Nancy has to say:

We’ve said that these qualities are very personal. They’re centered around our relationships, and they really focus a lot on our relationships within the family. So let me pick up in Titus chapter 2, beginning in verse 2, just to give us some context here.

I want you to see how this concept of self-control, the word is sophron—we were looking at it in our last session—sober-minded, of a sound mind. You see how this phrase occurs three times in these verses we’ve been looking at.

Titus 2, verse 2: First of all, “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled.” There’s our word—sophron—self-controlled. It’s of a sound mind. They’re to be “sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.”

Verse 3: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…”

Now, you don’t see the word “self-control” there, but that word “train” is in the same family in the original Greek language as the word sophron. It actually means to train them to have sound minds, to train them to think soundly, to train them to be sober-minded.

You don’t see all of that in the English translation, but that’s what’s behind it in the original. “Train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled” (verse 4). There’s our word again, sophron—sober-minded, of a sound mind. In the New American Standard Bible, you have the word sensible there. Sensible, discreet in the King James, sound-minded, of sound thinking.

What does it mean to be a person who has sound thinking, to be a person who is sober minded?

Does it mean a person who never laughes at things, or enjoys life?
No.

It means a person who is minded by more. A person who is self-controlled and aware of what they are doing. Not driven by the moment, or ones' own desires, but by something more. In the life of the Christian that would be having GOD be our driving force.

So what does a sober-minded, a self-controlled person act like?

• one who can respond in faith rather than fear when facing challenges
• one who guards her heart - discernment be exercised
  
• one who guards her mind - discernment be exercised
  
• one who is mentally disciplined
• one who is able to resist temptation
• one who is able to delay gratification
• one who has the attitude of work first and play later (not that playing is bad either). :) sometimes one needs to play first as part of enjoying one's family/children.
• one who is modest in their dress and actions
• one who lives a thoughtful and intentional life --- not someone just going along with the flow
• one who knows where all things come from and lives a life of thankfulness
• one who bases life decisions on what is wise and what is biblical
• one who prays
• one who is very much aware of the need for God in all areas of life

Is this possible all the time?
No...we are after all sin-filled people, who should be striving to be like God but so often failing miserably.
BUT it is something that we can strive for.
It does give us something to base our actions on ... and to help us evaluate the actions we have taken over the course of a day...and therefore become more of the people that GOD wants us to be.

A high standard we are called to.
A high standard we are to teach.

Let us be women of sound thinking, focused on the one who created us, able to see beyond ourselves to the greater picture.

True Woman - Delighting in your children

Nancy's email teaser:

Delighting In Your Children

Every mom would claim to love her children, but what does it really mean to show Christ-like love in a home? The Bible offers some practical ways to delight in your kids.*

• Mothers can get so caught up in the practical responsibilities of mothering that they forget to really love their children.
• Do you love your husband and your children more than you love your other friends, your outside involvements and interests, or your job?
• Don’t lose the joys that you could have in the present, and the opportunities God is giving you today, by being impatient for the future.

Listen to or read more from “Delighting In Your Children”

well...I'm almost done the follow-up emails to the true woman conference devotions that I went to last October. It's been an interesting study. Good in many ways to do. :) And today we get to look at the theme of delighting in one's children.

I have one. He is my delight...98% of the time...sometimes he drives me round the bend....but he's a good boy and oh boy...do I delight in him. But enough of me...let's see what Nancy has to say about this topic ....and God's word too!

From Titus 2:1-5 we read:

1But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

We need to love our children...why? that the word of God may not be reviled. Remember...that's the reason. We don't love our children simply because they are ours. We love them so that GOD's word will not be reviled.

So what does it mean to love our children?

I know from other scripture that loving means discipline, extending grace, being there, helping, giving tasks/duties and teaching. Just look at how God loves us! He's provided us with a whole world to live in! He gives us jobs/duties. He disciplines us when we are in need of it, and gives a hug (figuratively speaking) when we need one too. He helps us, trains us, calls us to be more than we think we can be. He tells us over and over that he loves us and cares for us and protects us.

This is how we love our children, at least that's how it seems to me. We love our children as God loves us.

Do I go that well all the time? no. I don't accept it well all the time either.
but does it give me an example to live by? for sure.

If in my parenting I try to treat my boy the way that God treats me I think we'll do okay. :)

Nancy speaks about how children are a blessing, and how we are to love on them through all the tasks that parenting brings. Makes sense to me. :)

Older women are to train younger women to love their children, according to Titus 2:4. This word love their children, in the Greek language in which the original text is written, is just one word. It’s a combination of two words made into one compound word.

The first word is the word philos, which is the word for friend; the second word is teknon, the word for child. It’s a person who is fond of children, a lover of children, somebody who enjoys children.

So older women are to teach younger women just how to love their children, how to enjoy them for who they are.

Learn to enjoy your children
Try not to be sucked into the world's view that children are a burden. They aren't. They are a delight! We are to care for them, love them, enjoy them.

Let us learn to be better parents! :)

True Woman - Letting God shape your husband

Here's the email teaser sent to me:

Letting God Shape Your Husband

Don’t bother with today’s message if you have a perfect marriage. But if you need solid advice on honoring God through an imperfect marriage, dig in.*

• The best marriage is nothing more than two sinners continually humbling themselves and knowing how to get to the cross to find the grace of God.
• Your husband’s strengths and weaknesses are exactly what God knew you needed for you to become the woman God wanted you to be.
• It's your job to love your husband; it's God’s job to change him.

Listen to or read more from “Letting God Shape Your Husband”

But if you need solid advice on honoring God through an imperfect marriage, dig in.*

• The best marriage is nothing more than two sinners continually humbling themselves and knowing how to get to the cross to find the grace of God.
• Your husband’s strengths and weaknesses are exactly what God knew you needed for you to become the woman God wanted you to be.
• It's your job to love your husband; it's God’s job to change him.

Listen to or read more from “Letting God Shape Your Husband”

I have to admit: I read this line "Don’t bother with today’s message if you have a perfect marriage" and I inwardly snorted. :) Perfect marriage? Who has a perfect marriage? I do think that people have marriages that are right for them, sometimes they have to work at them, but even those marriages that are "right" for those people, need work. Marriage is indeed a close relationship between two imperfect people. Not an easy thing, but overall...a good thing. :)

From Titus 2:1-5 we read:

1But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

In marriage, we have to learn what it really means to love our husbands. And guaranteed, it's not always so easy. But I've learned that in learning to love my hubby, I understand more of what God wants of me. To be a giving, less me-centred person who does try to see the bigger picture and not just what pleases ME. Pleasing myself less I think makes God happier. :) (Somehow I think I said that wrong).

But in marriage you do learn that it's not all about me. It's about more than me. This is an important thing for everyone to learn. Marriage isn't all about him either (from his perspective). It's too people learning to love each other through the grace of God.

I liked this line:

Remember that your husband’s strengths and weaknesses are exactly what God knew you needed for you to become the woman God wanted you to be. That’s true vice versa as well. Your strengths and weaknesses are what God knew your husband needed for him to become the man he needs to be.

It's all a growing process. Of learning to be more than ourselves, of seeing God more through how he works in us and each other. Of .....oh...marriage is hard work but it is worth it. :)

God knew what I needed when he had me meet my hubby. :) He's changed me, he's made me more than I was before, and he's brought me closer to himself.

Allow your marriage to do the same for you.
See your hubby for who he is, a sinner under the grace of God. JUST LIKE YOU.

Be a help-meet for him on his journey. Let him be yours as well.

True Woman - Make your Husband a Priority

The teaser in the email sent to me:

Make Your Husband a Priority

It’s a challenge to keep up with all the needs in a busy household. As you’re deciding what to tackle, who becomes a higher priority—your kids, or your husband? The Bible speaks to that question.*

* I wish young women knew how to reverence and adore their husbands, to protect their reputations, and to affirm them in public. Men blossom when you do that.
* If you are a married woman, loving your husband is the number-one way that you demonstrate your commitment to sound doctrine.
* Loving your husband means enjoying him. It means being his friend, taking pleasure in him

Listen to or read more from “Make Your Husband a Priority”

From Titus 2:1-5 we read:

1But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Oh...for those who don't know. I use biblegateway for my on-line scripture.

here's more from what Nancy had to say that I thought worth repeating:

The first thing that older women are to teach younger women, according to this passage, is to love their husbands. If you are a married woman, this is the number-one way that you demonstrate your commitment to sound doctrine. You can’t say you have sound doctrine if you despise or disregard your husband. Loving your husband flows out of the gospel, and this kind of love also flows out of a promise, a vow, a covenant.
Remember back to that day when you stood with your husband at an altar, and you made some vows before God? What did you say? Maybe it was something like this:

I take you to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part.

Remember saying something like that? Those weren’t just words. This was a covenant. This was a vow. This was a promise.

I know in my own life, learning how to love my hubby has been one of the hardest jobs I've had to take on in marriage. Sounds funny eh? I loved this man enough to change my whole life to marry him....and yet I've had to work at just loving him...idiosyncrasies and all. To respect him when I want my own way. To figure out how to meld how I do things with how he does things. To show him how what he thinks about things is important too. NOT an easy task at times.

So having solid Christian women that I respect demonstrate what it means to just love your hubby is important to me. :)

I have to admit...when I read this from Nancy's piece:

By the way, when we say she’s fond of her husband, this suggests that it’s an exclusive kind of love. By implication, she is not fond of other men in the same way that she is of her husband. Your husband is to be the object of your affection in a way that is distinct and exclusive and different from the way that you are fond of any other man. This kind of love means more than just fulfilling your duties toward your husband. It means enjoying him. It means being his friend, taking pleasure in him.

My very first thought was well DUH! But then I have to realize that in today's society the specialness of one's mate is sometimes lost. Going for a nice long walk with my hubby is different than going for a walk with a good friend, it's somehow better. :) And I love our Pinery excursions with the three of us. It's just "gezellic" (for you dutch people out there...feel free to correct my spelling). :) just nice is a good way.

But women.....learn how to love your hubbies, figure out how to make them more important than the other stuff in your life. God wants you to do this....so shouldn't that make us all the more want to? God, your hubby, your children, your extended family, and the rest of the world. that's the order of things. Get it straight, know it's hard work at times, but do it none the less. AND model it well so others see it as well. Talk about it with younger struggling women.

Just go out and love your hubby!

True Woman - Intentional Training

Intentional Training

Finding a mentor sounds like a good idea, but where do you start? And how do you become a mentor? Here are some practical approaches to teaching and sharing your life.*

• As older women, we’re supposed to be modeling the beauty of a life that’s lived under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
• Mentoring takes place in the context of everyday life:
  • You’re there.
  • You’re with them.
  • You observe.
• You walk with them through life.
• You deal with issues as they arise.
• You look for teachable moments.
• You give friendship, counsel, encouragement, and exhortation.

Listen to or read more from “Intentional Training”

From Titus 2:1-5 we read:

1But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

We are to teach each, to train each other.

I find that having a mentor is a great boon. Learning from others....what fun! (well, okay...not ALWAYS) :) And being a natural teacher at heart, teaching others what I know I find to be a total hoot. :) (well...okay... not ALWAYS). Teaching and learning can be hard things. But they are also things that we to be deliberate about doing.

Unlike Nancy I don't see this is something merely reserved for empty nest women, but for women of all ages. We can all teach those younger than us how to conduct ourselves as Christian women. Now, women without youngsters at home might find that a bit easier at times, but easier doesn't mean ONLY for them to do. We all have this responsibility.

The original word that is translated "train" -

It’s a verb. If you care about the Greek word, it’s sophronidzo. It’s the only place that this word is used in the New Testament.

That word, according to E-sword (Robertson's word pictures) means

That they may train (hina sōphronizōsin). Purpose clause, hina and present active subjunctive of sōphronizō, old verb (from sōphrōn, sound in mind, saos, phrēn, as in this verse), to make sane, to restore to one’s senses, to discipline, only here in N.T.

Vincent's word Studies (also from e-sword) puts it like so "Better, school or train. N.T.o. olxx. The verb means to make sane or sober-minded; to recall a person to his senses; hence, to moderate, chasten, discipline."

So our job is to help restore one's senses and discipline and bring some sanity. :)
It's like getting people to take a different perspective.

I look at my life. It is SO easy for me to put myself first. But I'm not to do that. As a believing woman I am to put God and others before myself. If I do that then I am : loving my husband and child, being self-controlled, pure, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, and able to keep my house in order, so that the word of God may not be reviled. Having others mentor me, and/or watching what older women than I do, helps me keep my perspective where it aught to be. Off me and on God and others.

It's not an easy thing to do. One needs to be intentional about spending time with other women. Teaching them, showing them, coming alongside. Giving practical advise about how to live, helping younger women learn how to be grounded in the Lord God, and so forth.

How does one do this? As Nancy says:

It’s really just giving friendship, counsel, encouragement, exhortation by your example, by your words, one on one in the context of everyday life.

How do you train your children?

• You’re there.
• You’re with them.
• You observe.
• You walk with them through life.
• You deal with issues as they arise.
• You look for teachable moments.

We train younger women in much the same way. Not that they’re children, but it’s similar in the sense that it takes place in the context of everyday life.

This is what we are to do as older women who care for our younger women. Teach them, show them, just like you a child....but you're helping them to see beyond themselves into what God wants them to be. This is what I need to be doing more actively, even as I raise my boy. Teaching the younger women that God has placed in my life. Shall we get to it?

True Woman - The Anatomy of Addiction

The Anatomy of Addiction

When we partake of things that are addictive, just a little bit doesn’t satisfy. We want more—and then we need more. We can become enslaved to many things:

• prescription drugs
• food & overeating
• gambling & computer games
• pornography & romance novels
• television & soap operas
• spending & shopping

The desire itself may not be inherently wrong. The problem comes in when that desire becomes a demand and we find ourselves giving in to the temptation to fulfill it in an illicit way.*

Listen to or read more from “The Anatomy of Addiction”

From Titus 2 we read the basis for this devotional:

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I was wondering where Nancy Leigh DeMoss was going with the whole Addiction thing, until she pointed me to the "slaves to much wine" that women are not supposed to be and then I went AH...that's where the addiction thing comes in at.

We are not to be addicted to "much wine"...or much anything for that matter.

As believers we are supposed to want God more than anything else. More than our hubbies, more than our children, more than our critters, our computer, our tv, our smoking, our drinking, our food, our books our....... the list can go on and on.

What do you want the most?

What does your life show that you want the most of?

If you are a believer and you want God the most, and your life signals something different....make some changes. Not saying it will be easy...but do it anyways. Everything else will eventually thank you.

For me it means monitoring my computer time. I could live at my computer if I could! (but I can't and shouldn't). I need to play with my boy, do the dishes, spend time with the Lord God, spend time with my hubby and really LISTEN to him, and so forth. I love email and playing games and answering questions on various groups and ..... the list could go on and on. BUT GOD calls me to something more. he calls me to glorify him in all that I do. And the question I need to ask him is this: is what I am doing right now.... glorifying him? What is this teaching my boy? What would it teach his perhaps future wife? What is this telling my hubby?

Helps put things into perspective.

Being addicted to something is not an illness, it's just the result of making a series of ill-considered choices. Nancy says:

The word addiction is a modern term. It’s really not my favorite term because, the way it’s used today, it tends to imply that we have no responsibility or culpability, that this is something we can’t help.

We’re not saying that. We’re saying we make choices that lead to bondage and strongholds in our lives. The biblical concept is that of enslavement. That’s why it says, “Don’t be ‘slaves to much wine’” in the translation that I use.

The only path out from our slavery, our bondage is prayer and making better choices....difficult though they may be...make better choices, ask your self those tough questions...who is this serving...myself? my family? God? Then make better decisions.

True Woman - how to control your tongue

How to Control Your Tongue

How can you become a woman who does not sin with her tongue?*

• humble yourself
• put off all slander and evil speaking
• put on words of kindness, love, forgiveness, and grace
• bring your thought life under the control of the Spirit
• talk less
• think before you speak
• refuse to listen to, slander, or gossip about others

Listen to or read more from “How to Control Your Tongue”

From Titus 2 we read the basis for this devotional:

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Older women.....not slanderers....
So what does it mean to not be a slanderer?
To slander means:

• words falsely spoken that damage the reputation of another
• defame: charge falsely or with malicious intent; attack the good name and reputation of someone; "The journalists have defamed me!" "The article in the paper sullied my reputation"
• aspersion: an abusive attack on a person's character or good name

So basically, it's talking in such a way that it causes damage to another person. Particularly if it's a lie. But if one slanders another, you are casting aspersion on their name, so be mighty careful how you talk of others. Build them up, don't cast them down. Whether it's the truth or not.

Yes...it is so very easy to gossip. To mention this that or the other tidbit about what's going on in the lives of people around you, or even in the periphery of your life.
Don't do it.
Are you helping the person?
Are you solving a problem?
Is the person you are talking with part of the problem or the solution? if not BUTT OUT. seriously folks.
If you are just chatting for the sake of chatting Stop it!

Don't hurt other folks by what you are saying about them. We are called to better than that.

I've had to learn this myself. To stop and say...
1. am I breaking a confidence?
2. would I want someone to talk about me this way?
3. am I helping this person or not?
4. am I talking with the person that I aught to be talking with this about.

I have learned the following:
yes...my hubby can act as a sounding board.
yes, my hubby can advise me on what to, and what not to say.
talking with him serves me a purpose - helps me check my heart and spirit in matters that "sit with me"....
AND it helps me to moderate what I say to others.

In her article/devotional, Nancy lists seven ways that we can combat the 'sins of the tongue'

1. humble yourself before God and others
   
2. put off all slander and evil speaking
3. put on a heart and words of kindness, love, forgiveness and grace
4. bring your thought life under the control of the Spirit
5. talk less
6. think before you speak
7. refuse to listen to slander or gossip about others

It all makes sense doesn't it?
Make choices in how you live before God and your fellow man.
Make choices in how you will talk and what you will listen to.
Control your thinking patterns...watch for envy, bitterness, jealousy and such like. These things lead to ill talk. Purge them from your life as much as you can.
Lead a life of humble repentance.

Women! Let us change the world by watching how we live and talk! :)

True Woman - Applying Sound Doctrine

Applying Sound Doctrine

For the final ten days of our make-over, we’ll journey with Nancy Leigh DeMoss through her teaching on Titus 2:1-5 titled “God’s Beautiful Design for Women.” We highly recommend the entire series.

Have you ever assumed that doctrine is for scholars who like to pore over ancient texts in big libraries? Actually, solid doctrine isn’t meant to stay in books—it’s supposed to be used in the day-to-day decisions you and I make.

• Just because we pick an idea up in a Christian bookstore; or hear it on Christian radio, television, or in a church, doesn't mean we can assume it is sound doctrine.
• Doctrine—what we believe—determines how we live. And the way we live reveals what we believe. Doctrine and life have to match each other.
• We know so much. If we’d just live a fraction of what we know, we’d be spiritual giants instead of spiritual pygmies.

The rest of the devotion can be found here.

Titus 2:1-5

¹But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. ²Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. ³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I highly suggest you read the whole chapter, it's filled with interesting things from God. :)

Looking first at scripture, what is God telling us here?

"Teach what accords with sound doctrine"....in other words...teach good doctrine, not what you think or what you feel or what seems right to you or what is the rage of the moment....teach what is sound, what holds to God's word.

Older men have things they are to do, as well as older women...and they to teach the younger women the same, young men, slaves etc....all have things they need to be aware of and work towards.

Now what does Nancy draw out of this passage? As she says

If we are not grounded in sound doctrine, we’re going to be susceptible to false doctrine. We’ll be easily swayed, easily influenced, easily deceived by things that may look good or seem good or feel good and may be very popular but aren’t true.

It's an important thing for us to think about. So often we don't put doctrine first, we put other things, like programs, outreach, visiting, etc on the agenda as ways to reach out and touch our world for Christ. People so much want to be relevant. it was in issue in the first generation church, and it's an issue now.

Paul was concerned about how the church could be a light in the fog of that generation. That question—about how the church can have the kind of impact it needs to have in a dark and difficult culture—that’s the question a lot of Christian leaders are asking today.

One of the big questions is, “How can it be relevant?” Now, I hope what they mean by that question is, “How can we effectively communicate the gospel and the doctrine of Jesus Christ to a generation that doesn’t value those things?”

The answer is....teach sound doctrine. Seriously.

Paul says what you do is preach to the believers the sound doctrine which will impact and change their lives; and then in their homes, their workplaces, their communities, they will live lives that are in accordance with sound doctrine. And that will make the gospel believable to those unbelievers around them.

If believers in the Lord God know what they are supposed to believe, then their lives will be changed. As their lives are changed, people in their spheres of influence will see this and THEY will be changed and impacted for God as well. Just think about it folks....if we truly live for God it has to impact the world around us. God made this world, so it has to be impacted by the things of him! (at least that's what makes sense to me).

Be grounded in the truth of God's word. Know his word as best you can...then go out and live it. If people ask you why the change....be prepared to answer them. Let others know that Christ is central in your life and the reason for why you live as you do.

Doctrine is always connected, in the Scripture, to duty. It’s connected to life. It’s not just some vague abstract stuff up there. It’s real-life applications connected to doctrine.

• Sound doctrine requires us to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord.
• Sound doctrine motivates us to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord.
• Sound doctrine enables us to do that which we want to do, and that is to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord.

In Titus 1:9, Paul says that the elders, the leaders of the church, are to “give instruction in sound doctrine.” Doctrine is the biblical, theological foundation for the Christian life. You can’t build a house without a foundation.

It's our foundation as believers. :) Sound doctrine overflows into our lives as good works. Sound doctrine overflows into our lives as changes in how we live, act and think.

Don't underestimate this effect.....God's word changes lives...even through you.

True Woman - tough questions on Modesty

Email teaser from Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Tough Questions on Modesty

Listen in as Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Holly Elliff, and her daughter, Bethany, respond to women’s questions on modesty.*

• Develop the ability to converse about everything with your kids. It may wear you out, but it keeps communication open as they enter their teen years.
• Ask your husband what he really enjoys you wearing, and then find appropriate times to wear what he likes.
• You're responsible to live up to the truth that you know and to pray that God will teach others those same truths. If God brings you into relationship with someone, then you may have the privilege of being one of the people that helps share truth with them.

The rest can be found here.

Okay...I have to admit this...I'm getting really tired of Nancy's continuing theme on modesty. So I approached this lesson with irritation in my heart. :) It's like I was saying "enough already!". So I was surprised a bit.

One of the things mentioned is this:

I think one thing that's important to do is to go to your husband and say to him, "What do you really enjoy me wearing? Are there some things you just like? Do you like me better in long skirts, in shorter skirts, in jeans and a sweater?" Find out what are his favorite things, and then find appropriate times to wear those things. I would listen to him.

Not particularly something I ever really thought about before doing. To deliberately ask hun...what do you prefer that I wear? Not sure what I'd do if he said...I want you to wear a dress to church every Sunday. Makes me wonder if I should ever dare to ask that! :) I suppose though, that it would be another way to honour him, and therefore to glorify God. Hmm....I'll need to think on that some...... What do you all think?

I do know that I prefer to go shopping with someone else for clothes. Clothes aren't something that particularly matter to me. If it's clean and relatively in decent shape...I'll wear it. I do have "Sunday clothes" but otherwise...it's clothes...I wear them. I'm used to people shaking their heads at me. I've learned to heed the "don't wear that out in public" comments that people make. But for the most part...I don't care as long as what I'm wearing doesn't make me look horrid colour wise. :) Jim is a pretty good guide in that, and I have learned to say "Hun? Does this match?" :) Makes me feel odd quite often as it seems to me that most women have no problems with this stuff and automatically know how to dress properly all the time. I am amazed at times by my sisters and sister in laws...they KNOW this stuff, and it seems to come very easily to them. I'm often left feeling like an odd duck.

Back to the lesson for today..... I was disappointed that once again no scripture was used as a basis for anything. It was just talk and teaching about 'stuff'. And what I want is the scripture and not just talk about "stuff"...I want to know the whys and hows. Like Is it more honouring of my hubby and glorifying of God if I say hun....what do you think I should wear? (and then following through on that - even if doing the dress thing is something in the winter I'd really rather NOT do). And what's the scriptural basis for that type of statement.

I don't know. Modesty doesn't seem to be an issue for me. And continuing to talk about it is just I don't know....irritating without more scripture being involved. I don't know...we'll see how tomorrow goes. :)

True Woman - More than a list

Nancy Leigh DeMoss's next devotional starts with this inbox teaser:

More Than a List

We send our kids to school. We give them piano lessons. We put them on sports teams. But who’s teaching them about modesty?*

• There are formal, structured times to teach your children the ways of God, but more is taught in the course of everyday life using teachable moments and opportunities.
• Ask your children questions so they can discover truth themselves. Then they will have ownership of it and it will be much more valuable.
• If your children's hearts are to please the Lord and to make choices that are based on the Word of God, then they won't just conform to a list that you’ve come up with, but will become difference-makers in their culture and in their generation.

In this teaching Nancy points out that if you want to teach your child how to live properly, you need to teach them the heart stuff first. This is why God wants you to act in a certain way, this is right, that is wrong.

Start with the principles of God’s Word. Teach your children, beginning at the earliest ages, what God thinks and what are the principles that need to govern our lives when it comes to modesty—things we’ve talked about on this program, such as:

• The principle of ownership: Your body is not your own; it belongs to God once you’re a child of God.
• The principle of Lordship: Jesus is Lord over all.
• The principle of citizenship: If you’re a child of God, you belong to a different kingdom; you don’t belong to this world.
• The principle of stewardship: God has entrusted some things to you, like a body. He’s entrusted beauty to you, and you have to use that in ways that are pleasing to the Lord . . . teaching the meaning of modesty in things that we have talked about at various times on this program.

To reinforce this imperative...that we teach our children, Nancy turns to Deuteronomy 6

⁴"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Oh....but this indeed what we need to do. To teach our children to love God wholly...ALL your heart, ALL your soul, ALL our might. This is my job as a parent. Yes, I can't "MAKE HIM" become a Christian...but I can teach him the joy of God, the fear of God, the wonder of God, and so on.

Oh...that I might do so. This is my greatest heart's cry.

Help me Lord to teach my boy that you are indeed good for him completely. That he was made to bring glory to your name. Let his heart remain soft before you.

True Woman - Modeling Modesty

Nancy continues her True woman series by addressing how one Models Modesty. Here is here email teaser this week.

Modeling Modesty

Training your children about modesty at age thirteen is too late. How about at age three? Learn why modeling modesty for young children is vital.*

• Make sure that the kind of entertainment you enjoy fits what you say you believe.
• It is inconsistent for parents who profess to believe the gospel to let their kids watch sexually explicit movies that promote unbiblical philosophies.
• Modesty should be a way of life.

The rest of Nancy's message can be found here.

And I have to admit, today I could not connect with anything she was saying. It didn't help that it was all just talk and no scripture was used for the whole message. Nothing she said was wrong, most of her focus was on being consistent when training up your children (boys and girls) in the whole area of modesty....as it relates to clothing.

I don't know, in my mind's eye, we've already more than covered this. :)

All I can say to this folks is....dress in a way that brings glory to God...not to yourself.

True Woman - Training our Daughters

Training Our Daughters

Learn how to train the next generation of women to have modest hearts as they grow up in an increasingly permissive world.*

• Modesty is, first and foremost, a heart issue. Don’t expect this world to teach your children how to be modest in heart, behavior, and dress. That’s your job as a parent.
• One of the killers of the faith of Christian young people is that they do not see that their parents’ faith has joy in it. Your kids will most likely reject your religion if it is a joyless religion.
• Make sure you are setting an example of loving and obeying God. When you fail, be humble enough to say, “I was wrong. Would you please forgive me?”

I have time today to do my devotions! YEAH!!! :) the buggy is still sleeping and the house is quiet. :) so.. okay, let's hop to it shall we? :)

So Nancy Leigh DeMoss is now taking us into Titus 2, and she starts off with an email teaser about the importance of training our daughters. Let's read what Titus 2 has to say.

¹But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. ²Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. ³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ submissive to their own husbands,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and that the word of God may not be reviled. ⁶Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. ⁷Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, ⁸and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. ⁹ Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, ¹⁰not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

¹¹For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹²training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³ waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

¹⁵Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

My guess is that she'll be focusing on the bold verses where we read:

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ submissive to their own husbands,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and that the word of God may not be reviled.

Nancy, in her address here, points out this:

Titus chapter 2 gives us a mandate for our lives as women; whether we’re younger or older, we’re told that we have a training role as older women and a learning role as younger women. All of us are older women to someone, and all of us are younger women to someone. So we both need to be teachers and learners.

Teaching and learning is a life long thing isn't it?

I know that in my life I have very much benefited from the advise and example of older women. How do I live out my faith when I'm feeling testy, how do I live out my faith when my hubby/son/co-workers drive me mad? What does it mean to be loving and kind when life makes you want to scream? What does it mean to be moderate, and forgiving, and busy about the house and wanting to learn more of God and so forth. Older women can help! And in today's passage we find that we are indeed mandated to help!

But when you think about it....isn't that what family is supposed to do? Isn't that as believers what we're supposed to do? We're supposed to be wanting to be more like God and less like the sinful people that we are. Look at how God helps us! He wrote down his word through a variety of people, he sent his son to die for us so that we can have relationship with him, he put the holy spirit within us to help guide our actions and stir our consciences and when we cry out to help he helps us. Yes, he also disciplines and corrects and gives us a timely "bonk on the head" when we need it. So shouldn't we follow his example?

Let us teach each other, let us be willing to learn from each other.
Teach what is God.
Teach those young women how to love their hubbies and children.
Teach them how to be submissive to their hubbies (yes, in today's culture that can be difficult).
Teach them to be self-controlled, pure, home-workers, kind and how not to revile God's word.

Easy tasks?
No.
Necessary tasks?
Yes.

Nancy, in her address, goes on to talk about how we need to model in practical ways that God is the most important aspect of our lives, that living with God brings joy and contentment to us, that bringing God glory is what we live for. If we truly live that way, our children will be more apt to follow in Christ's steps. That way living for God and bringing him glory simply becomes a solid way of life.

Let's step up to the plate shall we ladies?

True Woman - Reflecting God's Glory

Reflecting God’s Glory

Your outward appearance can reveal the inward desires of your heart. Do you want to glorify yourself or reflect God’s glory?*

• Your physical appearance gives an impression of God to people who can’t see Him.
• When you buy clothing, check your motives. Are you trying to draw attention to yourself? Are you putting people in a position where you may set them up to sin by being seductive or distracting?
• When you extend yourself, your heart, and your hands in good works, you’re adorning the gospel and making Jesus believable.

ooh...now this teaser interests me. Ever since I learned that God created us to for HIS glory....it's been a thought that just sits there in my brain and often influences what I do. Am I showing God's glory in thus and such action?

The rest of Nancy Leigh DeMoss's message can be found over here.

Once again for this study, Nancy is using 1 Timothy 2:9-10, I've included the whole paragraph to help with context.

8I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

What her whole post comes down to is....are you drawing attention to God or to yourself by the clothes that you wear? Just who is being seen in your actions, your clothing, your behaviour? You or God?

If it is yourself...then you're not bringing glory to God are you?

I like how she put it here (not just Nancy, but the person she quoted).

There was a fourth century church father—some of you are familiar with the name of Chrysostom—and here’s what he wrote:

What then is modest apparel? Such as covers them completely and decently, and not with superfluous ornaments, for the one is decent and the other is not.

What? Do you approach God to pray with broidered hair and ornaments of gold? Are you come to a ball? To a carnival? There such costly things might have been seasonable. Here, not one of them is wanted.

You are come to pray, to ask pardon for your sins, to plead for your offenses, beseeching the Lord and hoping to render Him propitious or merciful to you. Away with such hypocrisy.

In other words, he’s saying, “Let your external appearance reflect why you’ve come to church.” And why did you come to church?

• Was it to get attention?
• Was it to be the center of attraction?
• What is your heart motive?
• What is your heart attitude?
• Is it humble?
• Is it modest?
• Or are you trying to flaunt your wealth, flaunt your beauty, or even worse, to allure men sexually?

Where is your focus?
Do know that you are showing it by how you dress, how you act and so forth.

If you are a believer your focus should be on God and showing forth HIS glory.

True Woman - Self-control

Self-Control

Purity and self-control help you make wise choices, even in tempting situations.*

• God calls you to exercise self-control over your sexual passions, your demeanor, your dress and attitudes, and your way of dealing with men.
• If you have self-control, you'll find there are a lot of situations you'll never end up in because you made wise, restrained choices on the front end.
• The greatest freedom in life comes when you're under the control of the Holy Spirit. That's when you can really enjoy life and healthy relationships in the Body of Christ.

and so goes the email teaser for today's lesson from the true woman conference. the rest can be found here at Nancy Leigh DeMoss's site.

Once again for this study, Nancy is using 1 Timothy 2:9-10, I've included the whole paragraph to help with context.

8I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Remember, that just as men have their duties, so do women.

Our part is to focus on

• dressing in a respectable manner
• to live with, to adorn ourselves with, modesty and self-control
• to dress in a way that shows our godliness
• to perform good works
• to learn quietly and submissively
  

that's OUR job. Not an easy one, but one we are called to none-the-less.

Today's Nancy's focus is on Self-control. She talks abit about how living in a modest, self-controlled manner is very counter-cultural. Women today don't need to be modest, self-controlled, pure, respectable. We HAVE IT ALL. If we want it, all we have to do is go out and get it. That simple for us now-a-days. So living as a Christian woman in today's society is not an easy task that we are called to. It is truly living counter-culturally.

We need to exercise some self-control. To have this ability to say no...that's not how God wants me to act, therefore let me do thus and such instead. Now I am thankful that Nancy reminds us in this lesson that self-control is a gift from God. it's not something that we have to manufacture and therefore makes this all a legalistic thing...but something that God gives us.

Let me tell you, if you try to do this on your own, you'll die in the legalistic effort, but if you let the Spirit of God do it. . . . Look at this word self-control. The fruit of the Spirit is self-control. As He controls us, He will produce this heart attitude in us. It's a word that means "moderation." Some of the translations say sobriety, and it means "soundness of mind." It means "mental sanity, self-control."

It's a picture of someone who's not extravagant, not outlandish, not extreme but who willingly, willfully chooses to restrain their sinful desires by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Nancy lists a whole lot of questions that we would be good to ask ourselves from time to time. I've copied most, but not all...go there to read in it's entirety

Let's ask ourselves some questions and let God evaluate our hearts.

• Am I a self-controlled woman?
• Do you have sound thinking?
• Are you moderate and temperate in your eating habits, your exercise habits?

...........

As I think about this quality, if I'm going to eat excessively, obsessively, in an out-of-control way, that's an evidence that I don't have this quality of self-control in my heart.

• Is your tongue temperate?
• Is your tongue controlled and restrained by the Spirit of God?

This is so important in your home because you're likely saying things in your home that you would never blurt out at church out of anger or frustration. As a mom, as a wife, as a teenage gal, you need self-control when you're dealing with your family members.

• Are you self-controlled in your use of time?
• Are you prone to emotional outbursts, to anger, to temper?
• Do you have command and discipline over your body and your physical appetites: food, sexually, morally, alcohol, drugs?
• Are there any habits that enslave you, habits that are not godly habits?
• Are you disciplined to do the job when it needs to be done?

I have to admit, I look over these questions and I can IMMEDIATELY think of things that I need to be more self-controlled in....things that yes I am learning to be better in. Interesting how God has been laying this on my heart and here he gives me a devotion that helps to solidify those thoughts more. Ah that I remember to talk with God daily and ask him to help me change in things that I need to change in. This would be a goodly thing. Let me not be so influenced my the culture, but more influenced by God.

True Woman - A woman's great loveliness

A Woman’s Great Loveliness

What comes to mind when you hear the word modesty?*

• To be modest is to:
  • know how to be appropriately embarrassed
  • be discreet
  • be reserved
  • see yourself as you really are
  • be ashamed if your attitudes or dress were ever to cause dishonor to Christ
    
• To be immodest is to:
  • be showy
  • talk too much
  • be arrogant
  • be aggressive, controlling or domineering.

That was the email teaser sent as part of the 31 day devotions following the True Woman conference I attended in September. Here is the rest of Nancy DeMoss's devotion.

1 Timothy 2 reads as follows, I have highlighted verses 9-10:

1First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. 7 For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle ( I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.

8I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Nancy makes a point of saying how this includes women of all ages...girls, teens and adults. We are to be modest in how we present ourselves. How we dress should show our modesty of heart.

Different bible versions translate these words differently. Above you see how the english standard version approaches it "With modesty and self-control". Other versions will put it as

If you have the New American Standard Bible, it says "modestly and discreetly." In the New International Version it says "with decency and propriety." And then I like the King James Version because it's intriguing, one of the words it uses. It says women should be adorned "with shamefacedness and sobriety."

Two heart attitudes need to be shown when we are clothing ourselves.
Modesty/decency/shamefacedness and discreetly/propriety and sobriety. Today Nancy is only looking at the first aspect of this. The Modesty/decency/shamefacedness aspect.

Take seriously how you dress...it reflects the inner you. Do you want to seem BEFORE GOD as a flashy person who cares not about others? Come on...think about it. If you dress with your cleavage or your tummy showing...are you showing care and concern for your brothers in Christ? Caring for the family of God is part of what we do as believers.....our brothers in Christ need to do the same for us too. WE just need to take more care in how we dress because it affects them more. It really does. Have a solid talk sometime with a solid Christian brother and ask them how they are affected by the things that they see. It'll be an eye-opener! :)

If you knew that how you dressed caused men to be distracted in their Christian walk how would that make you feel? Would you be appropriately embarrassed?

How do you want to be seen as a believing woman?

Do you want your humble, modest heart showing? Or do you wish to be loud and boisterous?

Now honestly I read this and I go okay....Does that mean that folks have to go around dressed in long skirts and long sleeves? I don't think so. But we all know the difference between someone who is well put-together and someone who well...is showing more than they aught. :) Are the clothes they wear well-fitting or just a tad bit tight? Are appropriate areas of the body covered well? Do you have to be careful when you bend down? That kind of thing.

It's more than a taste of fashion....it's a heart attitude and knowing how to wear what that is helpful to the larger Christian family and shows ....Ah... i don't know. Honestly when it comes to clothing and apparell...I"M NOT THE PERSON TO TALK TO. Go read Nancy's piece...she's better at that than I am. :) Here's some questions she has:

Let me ask you some questions that I was just thinking about that maybe will help apply this matter and ask, "Am I a modest woman?"

• Do I wear respectable clothing, clothing that is orderly, decent, that doesn't cause distraction or temptation to others?
• Do I have a humble view of myself?
• Do I have a high view of God?
• Am I guilty of advertising or promoting myself? If I am guilty of advertising or guilty of promoting myself, I am not a modest woman. I don't have a modest heart.
• Am I appropriately reserved in the way I talk, in my speech? Or do I talk too much? Most of us as women have to wrestle with that one. The answer for most of us is yes, we do talk too much.

But show what your heart is before God...that's what we're to do as Christian women...show our hearts...even in the things that we wear. It's not always just what we do, but it's in our attitude toward life. Are we walking in ways that show a heart that is submissive to God? This is shown in our clothing, in our actions, in our speech...it's a whole life thing.

For me...clothing is a non-issue. I dress conservatively and somewhat casually. I don't for the most part do dresses (beyond a sun dress in the summer). I like skirts and pants and coverage. :) For the most part...it's just clothes...does it fit? Do the colours go together? Okay...I'm good. I depend on my mom and my hubby for advice in this department.

For me....it's my attitude that I need to watch. Am I treating my fellow believers with the concern that I aught? Am I showing my submissive heart (before God) to the world without rebellion? Am I showing proper respect to God and others by getting to church on time and not being loud and boisterous? Not always so easy that! But God calls for me to do this....to have a proper respect to worship. To have a humble, modest heart that doesn't promote ME.

What do you need to work on?