Therefore I despise myself

Job 42, the last chapter in this book.

In this chapter we find Job a humbled man. He is a man who has become fully aware of who God is. He knows that there are things of God that he just cannot understand. He sees the need for his own humility, and thus he comes before God repenting.

1Then Job answered the LORD and said:

2"I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4'Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.'
5I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
6therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes."

When I read these words I first thoughts were....how do I react when God reveals himself to me? Do I acknowledge who God is? Do I acknowledge my own lack of understanding? Do I see the need within myself to repent? Do I ever despise myself for thinking I know it all, when indeed I find that I don't?

I have to admit... I don't tend to despise myself. I love learning new things. When I see something new in the bible, especially in stories that I know well, I don't despise myself for it. Reading these words of Job, I wonder if perhaps I should.

After all.... it means that I didn't really pay enough attention did I? And that lack of attention to who God really is, is a matter for repentance. It is something that I must needs despise within myself.

I want to see God.
I want to know God.
I want for there to be less of me in our relationship, and more of him to be seen.

The only way I can really get that I think, is for me to despise the wrongness within me, and to glory in who God is. For God is indeed God and he cannot be thwarted.