Continued thoughts On Pastor/al Abuse

As I was talking with my hubbie today on this post and as I have continued my own ruminations on this topic, I came to the conclusion that part of my confusion with this whole issue is the fact that SOME (note some, not all) people use the terms Pastoral abuse and Pastor abuse interchangeably.

I really really wish that people would not do this.
It's annoying.
It misrepresents things.

They are TWO different situations, though they do have common ties and sorrows attached to them.

One can destroy entire churches. Which affects communities, families, and huge circles of people. It is damage done by the pastor to the people (whether one or all) that he is called to serve and minister to before God.

The other can destroy a pastor - driving a man of ministry out of job he was called to by God. Which can also affect large numbers of people, just perhaps not as readily seen. It is damage done to a pastor by a congregation...either the congregation as a whole, or in part, but not stopped by the whole and pastors are damaged by it.

Both affect our effective witness for Christ.
Both show lack of good godly leadership, and the whole "be subject to another in brotherly affection". (from Romans I think)
Both are the result of "I want to do it MYYYYYY........ way!" (instead of focusing on doing it God's way and for his glory and honour and all that)
Both deeply hurt the family of God.

I also wanted to make one thing clear. I am talking about this because I see it brought up in a variety of blogs....some from people who are just heart broken, some people who are just fear-filled, and others who are just disgusted with the whole thing. I have also seen the devastation in one church that I attended as an adult, see the sorrow in my parents church, and heard one too many stories about other churches that I am somewhat familiar with. I am not talking about it just because it was mentioned in Jen's blog. Granted, her post (well the comment section) did stimulate me to query on this whole topic a bit more. :) Sorry Jen, but it's true. ... see what you do???? :) But seriously, do know that this is a subject that touches my heart, and is source of struggle and makes me want to slap some heads. (which I can't do because well....God calls me to act better than that)

I wish I knew what to do in both cases.

I know for some folks....the best I offer is prayer and a listening ear.
For others I can counsel them to find a different church, knowing that staying and waiting for the disruptive pastor to leave, will do them more harm than moving on to a different situation.
For others it's advice to deal with it. Talk to the leadership. Talk with the pastor. Explore avenues that get others involved in a Christian manner.

For hurting pastors..... The best I offer is prayer. Advice 0n how to say no if they need to learn it. but mostly prayer and an ear that says nothing to anyone (well, except my hubbie!). :)

But I don't know. I just hate to see all this fragmenting of the church of God.

We are called to better than this.