A wish list

I found this at: http://www.geocities.com/babiesinheaven/wishlist.htm

It sums up a lot of what I am thinking about now. Granted, I don't think all these things, but I do think some of them. I thought the first couple of things most with our first miscarriage.

A Wish list

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t deserve your recognition.
2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn’t think it was because you have hurt me by
   mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.
3. I wish you wouldn’t think that I don’t want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk
   about him or her.
   
4. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you’re thinking of me. The truth is it tells me
   you care.
5. I wish you wouldn’t think what has
   happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my
   baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I
   have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad
   memories too but please understand that it’s not all like that.
6. I wish you wouldn’t pretend my baby
   never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.
7. I wish you wouldn’t judge me because I’m not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very
   personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.
8. I wish you wouldn’t think if I have a good day I’m "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being
   unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.
9. I wish you wouldn’t stay away from me.
   The truth is loosing my baby doesn’t mean I’m contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.
10. I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months or years for
    that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.
11. I wish you wouldn’t think that my baby wasn’t really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a "foetus". The truth
    is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. My baby was a real
    person.
12. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are
    all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.
13. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again.
14. I wish you wouldn’t tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can
    replace this baby. Babies aren’t interchangeable.
15. I wish you wouldn’t think that you’ll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The
    truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.
16. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel
    jealous.
17. I wish you wouldn’t say that it’s natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is
    my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.
18. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay".
    The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?

oh... and one I might add. I wish you wouldn't tell me that I shouldn't name my baby. The baby was real, and is still part of my thoughts. Having a name is important for a little person (and for their parents too).

For those who might be interested, our lost wee ones are named "dani" and "angelina'.