Feeling Terribly Inadequate

So lately I've been feeling terribly inadequate at most of my life. And yes, I know this is all feeling based and may not reflect accurately how things are. But feelings sometimes are indicative of a need for something to change.

1. Lousy as a housekeeper. Like I'm just never doing enough. I"ll admit I'm not the world's best housekeeper but lately I've been just thinking I'm scum compared to everyone else.

2. Lousy as a homeschooling mother. Not organized enough, not enough room, not teaching enough, not well... doing much of anything right. having my "moments" but just inadequate.

3. Lousy as a rabbit raiser. Having bunnies die due to seasonal changes and feed, and ah....just very dumpy.

4. Lousy as a wife. Ignoring my hubby at night as I try to figure out what I want to do with this that or the other thing. Just content to let him do his thing.

5. Lousy as a income maker. Quit my job, and yes I know that's a good thing, but at the same time means I'm not making money to pay off bills and do this that or the other thing.

My goodness.... I look at this list and I'm realizing that I do feel rather lousy about much of my life. I think perhaps I need to get some perspective.

Did you know that one of my favourite passages in the bible is

1 Peter 2:9-10 (New International Version, ©2010)

⁹ But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

This is who I really am. I do need to remember this. By the way hun, should I ever die, THIS is what I want the preacher to talk on. This passage and what it means to me and what it should mean to other folks. Because THIS passage God always calls me back to. :)

God has called me to so much more than what I feel I am. He's declared me to be something bigger.

Think perhaps I need to figure out how to live more like that eh?

Yes, I can make some changes in my life that encourage me to think differently and not be so doldrum (did I spell that correctly?) about my life. Hmm... Now to figure out how to do this.

Slow day, good day

Today was a good day overall.

Started off SLOW. I got up late, which meant I did the bunnies late, which meant that everything was held up.

First thing I heard out of Justin's mouth this morning "daddy! Can I play angry birds? DADDY!" he played it while I was out with the bunnies, he played it while I folded laundry, and then I played it. Before we knew it, it was 1100 a.m.

Time to do some schooling, so we did. :)

After all that we went shopping. I had a cheque to deposit so I took care of that and then bought some groceries. Watched a movie with the lad "the spy that lived next door" it's a jackie chan movie and it's fairly decent.

Put the lad to bed. Read three books and told one story before bedtime.

The books were
Dewey: there's a cat in the library




Dewey's Christmas at the library


and a houseful of Christmas



Then I had six rabbits to butcher, three for one order, one for me, and two for a different order. All were growers that stalled on me. Got to 3.4 pounds and said NOPE, not growing any more. I said no sense throwing feed at you if you aren't going to grow. Turned out for the best as I needed the cage space and the smallest of the bunch turned into "I"M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!" Nasty little thing. Had everyone terrorized. Nice with me, just not nice with his brothers.

Got some work done on the computer and now it is time for me to go to bed.

Cheers! :)

Santa - teaching of him or not

I was reading a blog post this morning about a lady who deliberately taught her children to believe in Santa, partially because she never had the chance to as a child. She watched as her older child struggled with deciding if Santa was real or not, and then made him promise not to tell the truth to his younger siblings. And it bothered her that he knew the truth!

Why would it bother a person that their child KNOWS the truth???

I was never taught about Santa as a child. My mom said "why would I want to lie to you?"

The remains my stance. Why would I want to deliberately lie to my child about the existence of something? Why would I want to set him up to wonder what else I might have lied to him about?

I remember my co-workers being shocked that I didn't teach our son about Santa. "But it's just some harmless fun"! They would say, my response to them then was the same as it is today "it's not harmless fun to lie to your child".

I've talked with our lad about Santa, explaining how some people think that it is fun to believe that Santa brings presents. I've explained how it's funner to really give presents ourselves, trying to guess what someone else might like, and being able to surprise them with a gift that they will truly like and enjoy and possibly even need. Funner than pretending that some fat person who doesn't even really know us gave us a present. Isn't it fun to know that someone who really loves you wants to give you something? Just like God REALLY loved us and he loved us in such a way that he let his son die for us?

People talk about letting their child enjoy the magic of Christmas, and therefore teach them about Santa. I don't get this, don't know that I ever will 'get it'.

Would it not be better, as Christians, that we talk more of the wonder of the season?

GOD sent himself down to earth, as his son, in the form of a baby. A baby with all it's frailties and weaknesses. A baby that would grow up knowing the he would die for us, to bring us back to God.

To me that wonder surpasses any "magic" that a pretend person can bring. I want my boy to see the wonder of Christmas more than the magic of Santa.

hmmm.. today...blustery snow

Had to see Justin's ENT specialist.
had about 20 minutes of decent driving...then had 30 minutes or so of scary driving. We got on the news! :) Our van drove past the channel A news team just as they were filming. :)

ENT said... excellent hearing. One ear is good, the other ear has the tube out of it now just a matter of seeing if it heals up okay. Follow up appointment in six months. If doesn't heal by the time he is 10ish he'll have surgery to repair it.

Then home....went over London. Trip home was easier but not great.

we mucked around in the afternoon just resting from all that driving stress... justin played in the backyard while I took care of the rabbits and packed up two for a trip to get a Christmas tree in London. Trip there went great. No issues at all. Sold BOTH bunnies. :) Had supper at Boston Pizza, got our tree and then headed home. left at 830, arrived home 1000 p.m. Normally takes us 40 minutes. That last 10 k were a driving nightmare. Justin got well scared. I was tense. Jim was quiet and very focused. We got home okay.

It was interesting. Justin was still very tense when we got in the house. His whole body language was tight. He put on some music and within a minute you could just see him go "whoo". And the stress was ALL gone.
"How are you doing buddy"? I asked?
"Oh.. I'm not scared mommy. I'm home and the house doesn't drive". :)

I hugged him and said okay...Time for bed. :) That lad makes me smile you know.

Bethleham Walk

Tonight we went to the Exeter CRC to take part in something called "Bethleham Walk".

I have to say...it was well done.
Justin was intrigued.
Jim enjoyed it.

The teens apparently did the decorating without Adult supervision.
They did a good job.

Justin wanted to go through it a second time, and we did the first couple of rooms again and then I said you know what buddy...we really have to go home as we've a busy day tomorrow.

So off we went, got him into bed. I made some rice krispie squares and puffed wheat squares and eventually made it to bed.

Tomorrow...OPEN HOUSE, 2-4, 7-9, hopefully people will show up. If not... we'll have a quiet afternoon with tons of goodies to use up. :)

Well...Christmas Cards are mostly sent

Yesterday I was feeling restless at bed time so I figured I'd might as well get the Christmas cards done. and yes....I do a Christmas letter. :)

Other than USA and Foreign, most are sent. I've three or four I'm awaiting confirmation on addresses before I send them.

For most of those who live within a two hour drive I also included an invitation to our mostly Annual Open House. It's held on December 11 this year from 2-4, 7-9. hopefully folks will show up.

Today Justin and I are going to finish up the trains unit study/lap book that we started yesterday. We are going to play in the snow, do some shopping, go to the library and volunteer with the local bureau for donating Christmas gifts to the needy. Makes one wonder.... do people REALLY need gifts? Gifts are fun, but I don't classify them as a need they are more of a want (as in I want to bring a smile to the face of a child who otherwise might not smile). But being a helpful servant of the Lord...this is a needful thing.. so Justin and I will go and help.

IF we have time today we'll make some Christmas rice krispy squares, and possibly some puffed wheat or cheerio squares as well. I am hopeful that tomorrow we can make it out to London. But might have to wait until Thursday when we're going out there anyways. :) We'll be taking Justin to see a school production of the nutcracker. Hopefully it will be done well. Costs us less than $20 as a family so makes it worthwhile to me.

Think that's all I got today. Cheers!