Tuesday, December 29, 2009

my thinking...

So yesterday as I watched our son bounce around on the bouncey thing at the indoor winter fair, I got to thinking how so often I question my faith and yet the moment someone doubts it I'm very quick to defend it.

Seems a bit of a dichotomy to me.

Talked abit about that with hubby and he said...but you are like most folks who question their faith. They don't question what they believe in, they question their own personal faith. and it's like...its so true. Somehow I always wonder if maybe I'm fooling myself. If what I think is personal faith in God is just somehow...not really.

I see how often I fail in my faith. I don't pray enough, I don't delve into God's word enough, I'm easily distracted at church at the best of times and now having a child to mind doesn't help, I don't do enough for other folks, I don't witness enough and so forth. I struggle so much with sin in my life. If I fail in all that...then how can my faith really be real? Make sense?

So it's a bit of a conundrum. My faith is often it seems the size of a mustard seed, which God tells me is sufficient, and yet God's word also tells me that faith is active and moving and such like.

Anyways, these thoughts possess me.

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