Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Feeling Terribly Inadequate

So lately I've been feeling terribly inadequate at most of my life. And yes, I know this is all feeling based and may not reflect accurately how things are. But feelings sometimes are indicative of a need for something to change.

1. Lousy as a housekeeper. Like I'm just never doing enough. I"ll admit I'm not the world's best housekeeper but lately I've been just thinking I'm scum compared to everyone else.

2. Lousy as a homeschooling mother. Not organized enough, not enough room, not teaching enough, not well... doing much of anything right. having my "moments" but just inadequate.

3. Lousy as a rabbit raiser. Having bunnies die due to seasonal changes and feed, and ah....just very dumpy.

4. Lousy as a wife. Ignoring my hubby at night as I try to figure out what I want to do with this that or the other thing. Just content to let him do his thing.

5. Lousy as a income maker. Quit my job, and yes I know that's a good thing, but at the same time means I'm not making money to pay off bills and do this that or the other thing.

My goodness.... I look at this list and I'm realizing that I do feel rather lousy about much of my life. I think perhaps I need to get some perspective.

Did you know that one of my favourite passages in the bible is

1 Peter 2:9-10 (New International Version, ©2010)

9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

This is who I really am. I do need to remember this. By the way hun, should I ever die, THIS is what I want the preacher to talk on. This passage and what it means to me and what it should mean to other folks. Because THIS passage God always calls me back to. :)

God has called me to so much more than what I feel I am. He's declared me to be something bigger.

Think perhaps I need to figure out how to live more like that eh?

Yes, I can make some changes in my life that encourage me to think differently and not be so doldrum (did I spell that correctly?) about my life. Hmm... Now to figure out how to do this.

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