Sunday, February 08, 2009

Just how much.....

Lots of thoughts in my brain...but how to express them. :)

Jim's been preaching in Genesis lately. This morning a sermon on the last half of Genesis three.

God's been punching at the submission, attitudes, desires of my heart stuff lately in my heart.

I'm feeling a bit caged! Like an animal being poked at from all sides lately and I don't know which way is the right way to go at times.

God's grace keeps staring at me in the face.

I know that since sin came into the world that my heart desires to please my man. I know that my heart HATES conflict and just wants to make people happy. And I find it difficult to balance out hubby needs, child needs, my own needs...without feeling selfish about wanting my own needs met. And then I question...should I want my own needs met when God has promised me that he will meet all my needs. Therefore wanting my own needs met is not quite trusting God is it?

So balancing it all out...trying to figure out just WHO does God want me to be.

I don't much like who I am right now (not in everyway, but in enough ways) ...but I'm somewhat concerned about who God might want me to be as it feels somewhat....changeable and new and....I don't know.

I all comes back much "of me" am I willing to trust to God and his redeeming power????? Just how much....

1 comment:

Kim said...

I think I know that feeling, Annette; especially not liking who we are at certain moments, and knowing that He wants so much more for us.